):

just now i typed like a super long angsty disappointment post but now i'm like whatever cos it always goes down to 'i deserved it' anyway. because it's seldom things go my way -.- BUT THEN i was superrr disappointed that i didnt get to do anything more than stress out over what to say cos i know i suck at making things up on the spot in front of cold faces, i just died there D: it was like hell i wanted to crawl into a manholeee & pull the cover over my head. i actually like reading like a monologue or something like where you dont have to think of what to say, just think about the emotions but then before we knew it, gone. loser la. always loser. forever loser. i felt so dissatisfied like damnit diy. ): but why so rush?? wth la. spoiled my day.
yesterday lasted just a while, with the drenchedtotheunderwear parts, and the seeing Paultwohill part & the hotguyatsakura part & the van explosion opposite Far East which we thought was part of total defence until i read my dad's sms after drama saying "The van explosion was real as reported today". way to make me feel worse ):

[edit: i saw a picture of the explosion today in yesterday's papers & ohdear]