Uh, hi.
So I haven't been blogging for quite a while. You know I should put up a disclaimer on my blog, warning people about its contents cos like right now I'm gonna start with: Sometimes I feel like a total screw up. :\
Naw maybe that's too harsh on myself, but everytime I try to peer into my future I'm squinting hard and it's like the lights are all switched off so I can't see a thing. I know I'm not in the worst of situations; I mean surely there're other teens at 15 who're facing harder situations but the thing is I'm afraid of turning into an adult, you know?
Am I thinking too far ahead? Not really.. Looking into next year I'm already supposed to be sweet sixteen. And that's in five months. (sec four scares me laaaaaaaa)
I JUST CANT SEE IT HAPPENING TO ME.
WHEN WILL I GROW UP???
D:
Gawd what a depressing topic.
I just had to let it out, and even as I just did so, the thought still sticks to my head. I constantly am disturbed. I don't even need someone to pull the trigger for me to start to panic, cos the feeling's just always there.
In fact, I'm not done. (sorry for the boring post really you can stop reading NOW)
I have to say, School doesnt help. I had that much of self-confidence from primary school now I have this little.
When I'm not feeling lost I'm feeling undeserving. And that's after feeling a longing. Aalriight enough ranting. You can start reading now. Eh I just told you to stop reading a while ago ehheh. Nvm continue la if you're still there.
Raya with batchmates was FABULOUS :D Cos they're just them. We went to meetsar's (heh heh loser pun) house which turned out ten times better than I'd have expected.
And yesterday, we went rayaing in our uber glamorous baju rayas again! (lots of blues & whites) We wasted a million years on transportation but it was all a fruitful experience, cos
- We saw Abu's family! xD Abu's sister really looks like her!!! Kan Zaff? Heh heh Zaff had lots to say. Kekeke.
- We met Hannah!!! We miss you Hannah!
(Aiman's so cute btw. SO CUTE mcm nak makan.)
- Iqah's mom ROCKS; thank gawd my pinafore belt ahem had extra space for me to fit in the scrumtious foood :D
- Syah parents sent us home, thank you Syah's parents thank you!!
Cerita hantu was O.o such a cerita hantu. Buat penat aje hold the pillow in front of my face.
Bottomline is : I love you guyss! Corny moment. Corny moment. :}
Today I went visiting after ak prac.
(=
I had a coupla swoonsome moments, between mouth-stuffing actions & heavy stoning.
I realise, I get really scared around the people I least wanna be afraid of. Wait dyu know what I'm talking about? Of course you dont I'm like spewing crap. Okk like.. I avoid ALL eye contact if possible. Then when there's a need to talk I Ring The Alarm & hide in my armadillo shell with bad ventilation and uh, view /sight or something. :\
That's quite a bad analogy. Nvm la. I'm not sure how to put it.
Next topic. Someone needs to stick Azira's head on a pike. (Liike the fishwomen frm March to Versailles) Heh. So gross. No, someone has to hit her hard on the ass for meeting (not Click 123 or 4 but) CLICK 5!!! & maybe even give her a hard american style wedgie. (A bit mean eh? Sorry Azira, but.. Ok no sorry la. I mean you saw click 5 la come on.)
D:}}} See my eyebrows.
Tomorrow got madraaasaaah. (sing-song voice)
Sheila, I like the terjatuhterjatuh song too!
Naw maybe that's too harsh on myself, but everytime I try to peer into my future I'm squinting hard and it's like the lights are all switched off so I can't see a thing. I know I'm not in the worst of situations; I mean surely there're other teens at 15 who're facing harder situations but the thing is I'm afraid of turning into an adult, you know?
Am I thinking too far ahead? Not really.. Looking into next year I'm already supposed to be sweet sixteen. And that's in five months. (sec four scares me laaaaaaaa)
I JUST CANT SEE IT HAPPENING TO ME.
WHEN WILL I GROW UP???
D:
Gawd what a depressing topic.
I just had to let it out, and even as I just did so, the thought still sticks to my head. I constantly am disturbed. I don't even need someone to pull the trigger for me to start to panic, cos the feeling's just always there.
In fact, I'm not done. (sorry for the boring post really you can stop reading NOW)
I have to say, School doesnt help. I had that much of self-confidence from primary school now I have this little.
When I'm not feeling lost I'm feeling undeserving. And that's after feeling a longing. Aalriight enough ranting. You can start reading now. Eh I just told you to stop reading a while ago ehheh. Nvm continue la if you're still there.
Raya with batchmates was FABULOUS :D Cos they're just them. We went to meetsar's (heh heh loser pun) house which turned out ten times better than I'd have expected.
And yesterday, we went rayaing in our uber glamorous baju rayas again! (lots of blues & whites) We wasted a million years on transportation but it was all a fruitful experience, cos
- We saw Abu's family! xD Abu's sister really looks like her!!! Kan Zaff? Heh heh Zaff had lots to say. Kekeke.
- We met Hannah!!! We miss you Hannah!
(Aiman's so cute btw. SO CUTE mcm nak makan.)
- Iqah's mom ROCKS; thank gawd my pinafore belt ahem had extra space for me to fit in the scrumtious foood :D
- Syah parents sent us home, thank you Syah's parents thank you!!
Cerita hantu was O.o such a cerita hantu. Buat penat aje hold the pillow in front of my face.
Bottomline is : I love you guyss! Corny moment. Corny moment. :}
Today I went visiting after ak prac.
(=
I had a coupla swoonsome moments, between mouth-stuffing actions & heavy stoning.
I realise, I get really scared around the people I least wanna be afraid of. Wait dyu know what I'm talking about? Of course you dont I'm like spewing crap. Okk like.. I avoid ALL eye contact if possible. Then when there's a need to talk I Ring The Alarm & hide in my armadillo shell with bad ventilation and uh, view /sight or something. :\
That's quite a bad analogy. Nvm la. I'm not sure how to put it.
Next topic. Someone needs to stick Azira's head on a pike. (Liike the fishwomen frm March to Versailles) Heh. So gross. No, someone has to hit her hard on the ass for meeting (not Click 123 or 4 but) CLICK 5!!! & maybe even give her a hard american style wedgie. (A bit mean eh? Sorry Azira, but.. Ok no sorry la. I mean you saw click 5 la come on.)
D:}}} See my eyebrows.
Tomorrow got madraaasaaah. (sing-song voice)
Sheila, I like the terjatuhterjatuh song too!
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