Why am I such an unhappy person?

I dont know why, but ever since I was a kid I was never that happy. I mean, ok of course I've been happy many times before. But I've always dragged this heavy rain cloud around with me. When I was a kid, I used to cry myself to sleep everyday. Not that I had a hard childhood or anything. Wtf is wrong with me? Something has to change in my life, to make me a happy person ): I hate the way I feel most of the times. And that just sucks. - - - -

I'm not even growing out of it yet, but come on next year I'm SEC FOUR.
):

Why am I such an unhappy person, again? I have no fidea. Let me quote.

Friday, November 02, 2007
1. Today marked the last day of being sec3.
2. Today wasn't fun and last days of schools are supposed to be fun.
3. Today I had angklung till 3.30 even though school ended way earlier.
4. Today made me realise even more that I do not want to grow up, I do not want to be Sec4 & I do not want to go to RJ!
5. Today I felt a dot or maybe a few dots of affection for the school xD Even after all that shit, maybe I do love the freaking school deep deep deep deep deep down (gotta dig dig dig). Or maybe it's just Unite. Heh that cheer always gets to me. Whatever it is, I'd miss rg super duperly because I dread jc ):
6. Today me filz syah diy sang Since Youve Been Gone with penuh expression next to the sewing room. Heehee.

From Zaff's blog cos I dont feel like telling the story. I'll just add a few more pointers.

7. ???

You know what I don't feel like blogging anymore. Today was just
another dumb moody day. Fullstop.

Oh yes, wait.

'zaff says:
i forgot to add we saw the hottest bunch of
guys
diy- says:
i'll add that

Hahaa. They were walking around far east, spreading the heat.

I'll make them the highlight of the day (wow, hot angmohs. what a highlight), aside from singing kelly clarkson at the top of our emo lungs outside above the koi pond. Ha. Ha. Other than that, today was mostly printed in a dull black and white, void of pretty highlights.